Having a penis

Ok so while I am typing up other notes I think I will comment about having a penis. There are some solid things about the hang dang, peeing outside without squatting (god only know what women do if they hear a raccoon or bear), Peeing standing up in the bathroom, Urinals (except for they need to do away with the midget urinal, if you are that short just lean back and get it over the rim, show some cahones) amusing yourself as a child (If you are a boy who didn't wrestle with his ting ting on a minute by minute basis from the ages of 1 until well possibly now still if your bored then I don't think I want to talk to you) and thats pretty much all I got off the top of my head. Having a penis guarentees a few things, you will never have someone you don't know buy you a drink (unless you are at the wrong type of bar and in that case it may get you alot of drinks if you wear some spandex), you will get your ass beat when you get pulled over if you try to cry to get out of it ( and you deserve it), and you are vulnerable to the devastating nut tap/ nut shot (any man who read this just shook their head and shivered). There are many many other things including it being hideous, and only getting one type of orgasm (levels of intensity are not different types).

If I had a vagina I believe I would make full use of it in basically every sense of the word. You might have a hard time getting me to leave the house. Games like "I wonder if that will fit" and "Can we make it happen for a 37th time" would never lose interest. And I think I would still be fascinated by other vaginas and would abhor the penis. I can totally relate to lesbians that way. If I saw a man naked and knew he wanted to do that I might vomit on him at the thought just to get his ass to leave. That said I am very very glad that not all women are lesbians obviously. Another thing is I want to know who the first guy to come up with tickling the prostate was. I have to feel like that was an interesting Saturday at home for someone. I am totally ignorant of what if feels like and want to remain that way for the simple reason that it requires a woman (or myself *shivers*) to violate me in ways that large men in prison named Bubba violate smaller men in prison named Gary.

But was the guy sitting there tickling his butt hole and just went too far?!?!?! How does this happen? I consider some of the things that pop into my imagination fairly depraved but what in the fuck?!?! If you go near that area of my body you risk the limb. If I was a female I would probably also succeed in being the ugliest female possible and would therefore have to become a very butch lesbian. These are the thoughts that keep me from doing important things like curing cancer, engineering a perpetual motion machine, or getting laid. Damnit. That said what the fuck are you still doing here? I may have thought it but you read it, what does that say about you? *Points menacingly* YOU!!! Oh and berserker rage bitches Wolverine owns you all.