For my birthday when I was thirteen I may have received one of the shittiest gifts ever. I know what you are thinking though "But it was a gift its the thought that counts." This would be true if there was a thought put into it.
Tales of crap gifts I have received have been EPIC. Those will all be addressed in later blogs. This one stands out as a contender for the top. You know when you buy a magazine subscription like TIME you sometimes get a free gift? Well I have received one. It was a Panoramic camera... with no film... no flash... and the film door would not shut. So I essentially received an 8 oz. piece of injection molded plastic. WHAT THE FUCK. It would be fine if that was a gag gift or something but no that was the ONLY GIFT. It was not even wrapped because that would have taken effort and would have made the gift worth $0.06 that the tape and paper cost. Children in China died to make this piece of shit. This piece of shit was the Anti-gift because I hate pictures. I hate taking pictures and I hate being in pictures. Obviously if you despise pictures the perfect gift... a panoramic camera, thank you mom. This is right up there with paying for my own bike on my 15th birthday (only gift) and buying my own bus ticket to NY for my 17th birthday (only gift). Yes those things were actually called gifts by the people who "gave" them too me and will be covered in another story.
If any of you ever do this to your children I hate you in advance. You will contract some form of Super Aids and deserve the pineapples in the ass you will receive in hell.
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